My Wife really inspires me. She is a mom of 3 and a wife, and when she puts her mind to something, she will stop at nothing to ensure she achieves it. We both have a lot of ideas and we have tried out many things to pursue our passions and build some sort of business. Most of those ideas dont end up making it, but what I love about Ceci and I is that both of us are willing to try and we are also willing to encourage one another. My personal spiritual journey has made me understand that all things in this universe happen by Gods grace, and the more aligned we are to His purpose for us, the less we need to be worried or anxious about the past, present or future.
Be honest: How much time do you spend daily worrying about the way something is, or was, or might be in the future? Now add the time spent being annoyed with other people, muttering in your mind about how they “should be.” Then include the time devoted to replaying in your mind the injuries done to you by others. What’s your final tally? Several minutes? Or more like a few hours?
And while you’re fretting over those issues, how do you feel? Anxious, angry, fearful? Perhaps there’s even a jittery stomach, tense muscles and pounding temples to boot. As your mood darkens, it becomes harder and harder to push away those upsetting thoughts.
Yet no matter how often you replay those negative thoughts in your head, they don’t do anything to improve your reality. Instead they mostly cause you pain, intensifying conflict and robbing you of moments in which you could have been happy and productive.
Most of us cannot be blatantly honest with ourselves. We cannot face ourselves and the truth about us. Most times we are not honest with ourselves about who we really are, and where we really should be in our lives. The events that moulded the foundation of our childhood and subsequent years are always buried deep inside a forbidden treasure chest. We don’t want to face the ugly truths about our past and how it shaped us to the person we are today. All events in your life are deeply connected to the person we are today. There are also painful experiences, because since day one life is also made up of deficiencies, frustrations and impossible dreams. Fears, distrust and pessimism are born within us when we are not capable of accepting this. In fact, we end up blaming ourselves. If we find ourselves in this situation, it’s essential to find a way to come to terms with ourselves.
If we cannot accept ourselves as we are, we will not be able to accept others either. A distinctive feature of a person who accepts and appreciates himself is that he can value other people as well. On the contrary, he who sustains a restless inner battle also projects this conflict onto other people.
Every human being holds within doubts about themselves. Because of this, it’s very important to learn how to identify the way we relate with our own thoughts. It’s very important to spot self-destructive lines of thought. We must keep in mind that overcoming the negative perception we have about ourselves will set us free. Growing up I had a phobia for heights and swimming. It started from a public swimming pool where someone pushed me from a diving board and I went into the deep end of a public swimming pool. It took me sometime to come out but it was a terrifying experience. That defined a big part of my teenage years as i didn’t want to participate in any swimming activities even though i did know how to swim. I remember this vividly but I am a fully grown adult now. Who knows what could have happened if i nurtured this swimming talent over the years. Instead fear made me run away from water and high places. There are many things that happen in our lives that lead to us making mistakes or having fears.
We must keep in mind that mistakes don’t lead to failure, but they do give us experience. The true mistake would be to keep regretting the fact that we experienced failure in the first place. There are always ways to right our errors. All of this forms part of an evolutionary consciousness which must lead to new forms of appreciating limitations. The first step is always coming to terms with ourselves. We must give ourselves the opportunity to enjoy who we are.
It’s not just about reality; it’s about life, your family, your friends, your motivations, your career, your children, and most of all, yourself. I’ve found that coming to terms with reality can be overwhelming; it can seem to be similar to a dream. You can repeat your entire life over and over and think, I did that? What was I thinking? What possessed me to act like that?
Remember, the world is going to do its best to convince you that there are certain ways you’re “supposed” to be or not to be. If you’re lucky, skewed perceptions of normalcy won’t faze you, but, if you’re like me, you’ll buy into them and cause yourself a lot of grief.
It took years of unhappiness and seemingly endless frustration for me to realize that if I don’t want to feel out of place, I can’t put myself in situations that will make me feel that way. That’s why I’ve decided that, if I can help it, I will completely and vehemently refuse to surround myself with people who don’t feed my soul. I will make my decisions based on what will make me a better person, not a different person. I will let myself grow into whatever I am, not envy others for what they are. All I’ve learned from years of stifling myself is that the way I’m supposed to be is the way that I am, the way God wants me to be. At Peace with myself.
Wilbert Frank Chaniwa