Love in a Relationship & Marriage is a Choice 

As I grew up and became aware of females,  I knew deep in my heart that Love is actually a choice. You see when you say you are in love,  it means you have allowed your heart and vulnerability to be open to this person you have given your time to.  But remember,  your idea of love and the reality of love are two very different things. 

I’ve heard it said that real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.

It’s true.

When all the butterflies have fluttered away and your wedding day becomes a distant memory, you will discover that you’ve married someone who is just as imperfect as you. And they, in turn, will come to learn that you have problems, insecurities, struggles, quirks—and body odor—just as real as theirs!

Then you will realize that real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it’s a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Of course, you don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and I tell you it has been a roller coaster. We have discovered so many positive and negative things about each other and I know at some points we even hated each other and whatever did to each other.

The Bible says that God is love, which makes it the perfect source to learn how to love others, even those who are difficult for us to live with. 

Whenever my wife and I run into a problem in our marriage we do our best to choose love to choose God. While we’re certainly not perfect, I know the love we share today is more real and more wonderful than anything we had ever anticipated even though we are both a work in progress.  The fact that we both made a choice to stay and not leave the marriage means we have let love rule our marriage. Not our flesh. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Love is a decision — a commitment. It’s the action of deliberately choosing to dedicate yourself and energies to making your loved one happy.

Love should have a central place in our life and our decision to marry, or enter into other types of committed relationships. However, long-term happiness and meaningfulness cannot be based upon intense passion alone, but should involve profound love, which includes shared activities and profound care and reciprocity, as well as at least a moderate level of intensity.

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Wilbert Frank Chaniwa – @wilbertfc

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