The other day I was reading and meditating on Proverbs 31. I realized that in the 7 years I have been married to my wife Cecilia, she has slowly matured and has been consistent in being a Proverbs 31 wife. What do I mean by that. The book of Proverbs concludes with a poem focusing on the characteristics of a virtuous woman, whose value “is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). I used to question myself why my wife cannot be like this woman because we used to fight so much. I used to wonder why she cannot submit to me as a husband as I had been told was written in the Bible.
The Greek word for submission is hupotasso, “to subordinate…put under…” God exhorts women to voluntarily follow their husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:22, 1 Peter 3:1). A woman is actively doing this– choosing to put herself under leadership, choosing to be subordinate in a circumstance or relationship. This is not forced upon her by the recipient.
Women are not commanded to submit to their husband’s because God insures that men will be just or loving. When a woman submits unto her husband, she is actually submitting unto God (Ephesians 5:22). A woman therefore does not submit because her husband deserves it in his own merit- she submits because she knows it is pleasing to her Lord. There will be times when a woman needs to submit, and her husband does not deserve it from a human perspective. But by divine right, God set the man as leader and a woman can trust that God is good. She can also know that nothing escapes God’s notice, and a wicked man will be held accountable for his actions.
All the times I went against the Laws of Jehovah and committed sin, my wife was steadily by my side. Even though we quarreled and we disagreed and sometimes we were not even talking, my wife never left our matrimonial home for one minute. She made sure I ate dinner every night and made sure our children were well taken care of. By merely staying, she demonstrated that she was not willing to let anything come in as an obstacle to make her stumble and divorce her husband to the detriment of the family and children. She honored God
Peter has talks about the duty of a wife,
1 Peter 3:1-2 “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. “
You see, my wife Cecilia honored me as a husband by extending Grace to me. She gave me over 77 chances to change my behavior and find true Salvation from Jesus. She was hard with me, not because she hated me but because she truly loved me and wanted me back on the right path, as the true leader and Priest of the family.
1 Peter 2:20-23 – “For what credit is it, if when you do wrong and are beaten for it you take it patiently? But if when you do right and suffer for it you take it patiently, you have God’s approval. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin; no guile was found on his lips. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he trusted to him who judges justly. “
A lot of us are Christians and go to church, but we don’t practice Christianity in real life. God is the only Judge . In James 4:12 it says “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” Most of us hold on to grudges and find it hard to forgive. The rate of Divorce amongst Christians has become higher than ever before and this is because as Christians we have become “puffed up with pride” and we have let the world control our hearts and have abandoned practicing what it truly means to be a Christian. Marriage vows are no longer taken as seriously and Children suffer the most as they have to deal with the tragedy of being raised by a single parent and ultimately the devil wins as he achieves broken homes, depressed spouses and troubled children. The victory in Marriage is to let God lead all our decisions. It saved my marriage, and saved my life, all thanks to my Proverbs 31 Wife
Wilbert Frank Chaniwa – @wilbertfc @matrimonyfn